Sometimes the answer isn’t more of something; it’s the opposite.

I once had a second-grade student who wiggled so much that he got the leg of his chair stuck in his shoe. We tried everything to give him space to wiggle: different seats, more room to move, and various strategies to help him feel comfortable. But nothing worked; he continued to wiggle more and more. I knew there had to be a better way to support this child.

Determined to find a solution, I researched extensively and consulted with occupational and physical therapists. Together, we developed a sensory space and a tailored program in my classroom to help students like him. What I discovered was invaluable.

My wiggly student didn’t need more space to move around; he needed the opposite—deep pressure. This deep pressure provided the sensory input his body craved, helping him feel more grounded and focused. It was a revelation: sometimes the answer is actually the opposite of what we think.

This experience taught me an important lesson. In our fast-paced lives, we often think the solution to feeling overwhelmed or out of control is to add more: more activities, more space, more stimulation. But sometimes, what we really need is the opposite. We need to slow down, create boundaries, and apply the right kind of pressure to help us feel secure and balanced.

This principle is at the heart of my approach as a self-regulation coach. These practices help create a sense of calm, focus, and inner strength, providing the deep pressure and structure we often need to thrive.

So, I encourage you to reflect on your own life. Where have you actually needed the opposite of what you thought you did?   Instead of adding more, consider where you might benefit from simplifying, slowing down, or applying a different kind of support.  

I’d love to hear your thoughts, share your stories below.

Your life is your practice.